mobile-menu
mobile-menu

Finding Self-Sourced Confidence

Self Saucing-2
SHARE

Self Saucing pudding has everything it needs within it... 🤤

It goes in the oven and comes out hot and tasty and moist, and ready for the world…

Despite being accomplished, intelligent, qualified and experienced, many of my clients lack confidence when we start working together.

They’ve learned through a variety of twists and turns of life that they can’t, or shouldn’t, trust themselves.

Instead, they focus on measurable ‘proof’ of their success and progress, or validation from others for the rightness of their choices.

Now, don’t get me wrong – tangible outcomes are awesome, and if you want a successful business, you totally have to work towards them – but the problem with your confidence relying on your external success or validation, is that it’s fleeting.

You have to keep topping it up with another success, or more results, and if the world around you starts looking like it’s going a bit pear shaped, things can go downhill fast if you need your life to show you that you’re okay.

Instead, I want you to be like pudding. 🍮🫠

To remember, that you too, have everything you need within you.

And more importantly, know that you can learn to self sauce. Ahem. Self SOURCE your confidence.

SO, have you ever second guessed your leadership decisions, or lost sleep over whether you should have said ‘that thing’ in that meeting or not?

Maybe you’ve been a people pleaser, and regret not setting firmer boundaries with that staff member who asks for leave at the very last minute, then absorbed the extra workload yourself while feeling resentful..

Maybe you know you don’t trust your gut when it comes to making choices but then often end up kicking yourself later, or you live in a stream of intrusive negative thoughts and feelings that impact your day to day experience of work, relationships, parenting and everything else?

If you’ve been nodding along, then over the weekend I want you to put aside 15 minutes and do the following;

  1. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in 12 months time, having grown into a more confident woman with deeper self trust. You don’t have to imagine a ‘perfect’ version of yourself, because there is always more growth, but imagine your ‘next level’ of confidence, or maybe a few ‘levels’ up from where you are today.
  2. Spend a few minutes really marinating in the day dream of her, feeling what it feels like and seeing what it looks like.
  3. Write a dot point list of everything you notice about this confident version of yourself. Pay attention to things like, how she carries herself, what she wears, who she’s surrounded by, what she says to herself, how she speaks to others, what kind of car she’s driving and money she’s earning, how she feels, how her body looks and feels, and anything else that pops up for you.
  4. Now write down a list of the top 5 places in your life you feel like you look for external validation or second guess yourself the most. Imagine this future, more confident version of yourself, and ask her, ‘what would you do?’ in this situation.

 

Finally, if you’re really keen to grow your self confidence and trust, you can register for my upcoming trainings, The Fluently Feminine Series.

In particular, the session coming up on Monday August 5th is ALL about trusting yourself more fully and having that trust and confidence be something that flows from within you.

To be really clear – I’m NOT going to give you more confidence. I’m going to teach you to connect with it in yourself and TRUST that part of you.

Learn more about the series and register here – https://bit.ly/fluentlyfeminine

I look forward to seeing you soon, and have a saucy weekend! 🫶

SHARE
Never underestimate the power of your past. Because it’s not in the past. It’s here in this living moment with you – woven into your responses, choices and perceptions; baked into your nervous system and psyche through and reinforcement and repetition.

That doesn’t mean your past has to define you, not at all.

Though, you’re lying to yourself if you say ‘its in the past’, yet have done no work to clear the ripples of that past from your system to create space for something new.

Yesterday, in a session with my coach, I went ‘back in time’ to the end of 2020, when I went through an experience that was somewhat challenging for me.

Here is a sublime example

Despite acknowledging the challenge at the time, I realised looking back that I hadn’t fully resolved or digested what happened there.

Part of me stayed frozen in that experience, and on the subtlest of levels, I have gotten in my own way unconsciously ever since.

That past experience was with me in every moment. It informed my capacity and energy levels, choices and perceptions.

And this is how the past shapes us – you have experiences that your system ‘learns’ from, and you then – often completely unconsciously – adjust accordingly to avoid repeating painful or difficult events.

We are such clever adaptive creatures.

But, those ‘adaptations’ will inadvertently shape your behaviour, attitudes, thoughts and feelings in a way that can begin to inhibit your ability to fully show up for your business or career, relationships, and life in general.

If you bring the process of ‘learning’ from these past experiences into consciousness, you gift yourself the chance to mine the gold from the past, get the learnings and gifts link example: and then move forward with your life.

„ QUOTE DESIGN: I CALL THIS PROCESS ‘DIGESTING’ YOUR PAST EXPERIENCES, AND HAVE SPECIFIC PRACTICES I TEACH TO SUPPORT YOU TO DO THIS.“

I call this process ‘digesting’ your past experiences, and have specific practices I teach to support you to do this.

The challenges of the past – and your adaptations – can become like a cage you find yourself living in if you’re not aware, but this digestion process ensures your continued liberation…

Which past experiences do you need to free yourself from?

And this is how the past shapes us – you have experiences that your system ‘learns’ from, and you then – often completely unconsciously – adjust accordingly to avoid repeating painful or difficult events.

We are such clever adaptive creatures.

But, those ‘adaptations’ will inadvertently shape your behaviour, attitudes, thoughts and feelings in a way that can begin to inhibit your ability to fully show up for your business or career, relationships, and life in general.

If you bring the process of ‘learning’ from these past experiences into consciousness, you gift yourself the chance to mine the gold from the past, get the learnings.

More Insights