Sex & Stress

Last weekend I ran two workshops for women while away at ConFest...

After the first one – ‘Sex & Stress’ – where I’d guided a group of around 30 women into connection with their pleasure and erotic aliveness, then supported them to bring that creative force to something that had been challenging them about their life, I received this piece of gorgeous feedback…

A participant shared with me how much she’d realised in that experience that she spends her life EITHER in her ‘thinking / working it out / mental’ function OR her erotic, pleasure body and deep feeling self.

She was floored by the simplicity of what I guided and how much softness, self compassion, resource and freedom she felt around the ‘stressor’ when she held it in love while also staying connected with her body and FEELING GOOD.

She also shared how NEW it felt. Not something she’d ever considered for herself.

She wasn’t the only one.

Many women shared how much their relationship with that life stress shifted through this practice.

How simple it was.

And how much they’d never conceived of living their ‘day to day life’ while staying in contact with their pleasure.

For so many driven women who are focused on juggling the many demands of life, raising little ones, running households and pursuing careers, ‘pleasure’ and ‘productivity’ have become mutually exclusive.

When this happens, and a woman spends more and more time ‘away’ from feeling her aliveness and connecting with her pleasure and eros – she suffers.

This disconnect from that life affirming and incredibly nourishing energy slowly robs her of her radiance, her softness, her emotional flexibility and her resilience. 🥀

This is a part of my work I feel so passionately about.

For a whole bunch of reasons, too many women have learnt to live without what is GOOD for them – or only getting it in bursts when she’s completed her to-do list and has the time.

But I’m here for women learning to have both.

Deep, nourished satisfaction AND the power to create your life.

Not ‘putting yourself aside’ to get life done, complete tasks and meet the needs of others.

Pleasure AND results.

Don’t accept anything less.

Never underestimate the power of your past. Because it’s not in the past. It’s here in this living moment with you – woven into your responses, choices and perceptions; baked into your nervous system and psyche through and reinforcement and repetition.

That doesn’t mean your past has to define you, not at all.

Though, you’re lying to yourself if you say ‘its in the past’, yet have done no work to clear the ripples of that past from your system to create space for something new.

Yesterday, in a session with my coach, I went ‘back in time’ to the end of 2020, when I went through an experience that was somewhat challenging for me.

Here is a sublime example

Despite acknowledging the challenge at the time, I realised looking back that I hadn’t fully resolved or digested what happened there.

Part of me stayed frozen in that experience, and on the subtlest of levels, I have gotten in my own way unconsciously ever since.

That past experience was with me in every moment. It informed my capacity and energy levels, choices and perceptions.

And this is how the past shapes us – you have experiences that your system ‘learns’ from, and you then – often completely unconsciously – adjust accordingly to avoid repeating painful or difficult events.

We are such clever adaptive creatures.

But, those ‘adaptations’ will inadvertently shape your behaviour, attitudes, thoughts and feelings in a way that can begin to inhibit your ability to fully show up for your business or career, relationships, and life in general.

If you bring the process of ‘learning’ from these past experiences into consciousness, you gift yourself the chance to mine the gold from the past, get the learnings and gifts link example: and then move forward with your life.

„ QUOTE DESIGN: I CALL THIS PROCESS ‘DIGESTING’ YOUR PAST EXPERIENCES, AND HAVE SPECIFIC PRACTICES I TEACH TO SUPPORT YOU TO DO THIS.“

I call this process ‘digesting’ your past experiences, and have specific practices I teach to support you to do this.

The challenges of the past – and your adaptations – can become like a cage you find yourself living in if you’re not aware, but this digestion process ensures your continued liberation…

Which past experiences do you need to free yourself from?

We are such clever adaptive creatures.

If you bring the process of ‘learning’ from these past experiences into consciousness, you gift yourself the chance to mine the gold from the past, get the learnings.