What will you choose to create?

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What will you choose to create?

You can scatter 100 random points across a piece of paper, and then join those dots together to create a heap of different pictures…

You can scatter 100 random points across a piece of paper, and then join those dots together to create a heap of different pictures.  The dots don’t change, but the image certainly can.

This very same thing takes place with circumstantial ‘data points’ or facts.

You can look at a range of data points in your life, and draw entirely different pictures – or conclusions – about your reality, depending on which perspective you look at the points from.

If you look at the circumstances of your career, or your relationship, and you perceive those ‘facts’ through the lens of your pain (past negative experiences, ways you’ve been let down, your unsupportive beliefs etc), you will see nothing but problems.

You’ll see how you’re uncared for, under valued or not prioritised.  You’ll see how everyone around you is falling short of your expectations.  You’ll feel more and more like you need to protect yourself, so you’ll slowly pull away, close yourself up and harden your heart.  You become less available for creativity and collaboration or intimacy and connection…

And do you know what happens next??

PEOPLE PULL AWAY FROM YOU.

It is an utterly self fulfilling prophecy.

You are HARDER to co-create with, and generally be around when you are like this, so people will unconsciously move away from collaboration or closeness with you.

Thus, ‘proving your point’ that you’re some version of not wanted…

You draw conclusions about the ‘truth’ of your reality based on the data points you can see EVERY DAY.

So it is your wonderful responsibility to be able to discern, ‘which lens am I looking at these data points through?’

Said differently, ‘Which part of me is CREATING MY REALITY right now?’

If you’ve been let down, abandoned, not fully cared for and celebrated in your expression in your past, then there IS a part of you that wants to turn your partner into someone who doesn’t fully care for you, is going to let you down or abandon you.

There IS a part of you that scans for hints that people at work are judging, belittling or undermining you.

There IS a part of you that assumes the worst.  And when this part gets activated MY GOSH the feelings that come with it can be SO strong.  The reality it wants to point to can look SO real.

But that doesn’t mean it is.

In fact, more times than not, when I support my clients to step out of their pain and into their heart, they see the REAL truth:  They are deeply loved, their husband is just a little stressed at work.  They are absolutely valued by their superiors, the feedback they’ve received is actually an invitation into doing more powerful work…

You are creating your reality right now, simply by how you are perceiving it.

A maturity of heart and mind – plus the right skills – are required to be able to successfully see when you are perceiving your world through your pain, and then choose to step out of that pattern into something more powerful.

And my gosh, life is SO much more fun when you’re not stuck focused on, and complaining about, your problems.

What will you choose? 💕

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Never underestimate the power of your past. Because it’s not in the past. It’s here in this living moment with you – woven into your responses, choices and perceptions; baked into your nervous system and psyche through and reinforcement and repetition.

That doesn’t mean your past has to define you, not at all.

Though, you’re lying to yourself if you say ‘its in the past’, yet have done no work to clear the ripples of that past from your system to create space for something new.

Yesterday, in a session with my coach, I went ‘back in time’ to the end of 2020, when I went through an experience that was somewhat challenging for me.

Here is a sublime example

Despite acknowledging the challenge at the time, I realised looking back that I hadn’t fully resolved or digested what happened there.

Part of me stayed frozen in that experience, and on the subtlest of levels, I have gotten in my own way unconsciously ever since.

That past experience was with me in every moment. It informed my capacity and energy levels, choices and perceptions.

And this is how the past shapes us – you have experiences that your system ‘learns’ from, and you then – often completely unconsciously – adjust accordingly to avoid repeating painful or difficult events.

We are such clever adaptive creatures.

But, those ‘adaptations’ will inadvertently shape your behaviour, attitudes, thoughts and feelings in a way that can begin to inhibit your ability to fully show up for your business or career, relationships, and life in general.

If you bring the process of ‘learning’ from these past experiences into consciousness, you gift yourself the chance to mine the gold from the past, get the learnings and gifts link example: and then move forward with your life.

„ QUOTE DESIGN: I CALL THIS PROCESS ‘DIGESTING’ YOUR PAST EXPERIENCES, AND HAVE SPECIFIC PRACTICES I TEACH TO SUPPORT YOU TO DO THIS.“

I call this process ‘digesting’ your past experiences, and have specific practices I teach to support you to do this.

The challenges of the past – and your adaptations – can become like a cage you find yourself living in if you’re not aware, but this digestion process ensures your continued liberation…

Which past experiences do you need to free yourself from?

And this is how the past shapes us – you have experiences that your system ‘learns’ from, and you then – often completely unconsciously – adjust accordingly to avoid repeating painful or difficult events.

We are such clever adaptive creatures.

But, those ‘adaptations’ will inadvertently shape your behaviour, attitudes, thoughts and feelings in a way that can begin to inhibit your ability to fully show up for your business or career, relationships, and life in general.

If you bring the process of ‘learning’ from these past experiences into consciousness, you gift yourself the chance to mine the gold from the past, get the learnings.

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