Change

Can you recall a time in your life that was immensely challenging, where the tides of change rushed in and pressures or events in life forced you to grow?

Often when you’re within one of those times, you can’t see clearly what’s happening or what you’re becoming, but when you look back, you can see that it was a milestone in your journey.

They’re times you became more of who you are.

In 2016, I journeyed one of these transformational times of change.

I hit burnout after 8 years of professional horse riding and 5 years into my coaching business.

I made the decision to retire from competitive equestrian sports and my whole lifestyle changed as a result. A seven and a half year romantic relationship (that was very much not right for me) ended.

Although that time was challenging, and at the time I felt very lost and had to trust the process; the healing and recovery journey after that experience of burnout led me to the work that I now do with ambitious women and female leaders.

Over the last 2 or so years, I’ve been journeying another one of those times. I’ve once again felt like the caterpillar that had an urge to make a cocoon, then proceeded to turn into mush… 🐛

A deep journey of loving with my fiancé that has opened me into feeling myself more fully than I ever have before. Realising that I might want to be a mother. The ending of a friendship thats been harder than any breakup I’ve journeyed. And, the decision to take some time away from my beloved sport of horse riding.

On Wednesday morning, my horse Zephyr was collected by a transport truck at 5:00am to head to his new home! 🐎

My heart hasn’t been in my riding for a while, and instead of enjoying it, I’ve had to force myself to go to the stables. Instead of feeling excited to put time and energy into developing my horse, I’ve been excited to put time and energy into developing my business and my relationship and my personal growth.

My other horse, Moxie is two years old. She’s a few years away from being ridden yet, so until she’s been broken in, I’m hanging my hat up!

It’s the first time since I was 17 that I haven’t owned a horse that I’ve been able to ride, and I’m very curious about what this time will hold.

The last 18 months or so have been some of the most emotionally and mentally challenging of my life; though I also feel closer to who I am and who I’m meant to be. I can feel that although this transformation is challenging and uncomfortable and stretching and changing me, that it is a good thing.

On a really positive note, I’m incredibly excited that Zephyr went to an amazing home! 🐎🫶🏼 I couldn’t have asked for a better person to take him on, and I’m very excited to see what they get up to together in the times ahead!

For now, I’m looking forward the freedom of not having a ridden horse. AND, I’m curious about what I’ll see when I look back on this time in my life in years to come, and what flavour butterfly might be emerging from this goo. 🦋

What did you learn about yourself from your last big time of change?

Perhaps you’re going through one right now, riding the waves and trusting the process while you don’t quite yet know who you’ll be when you pop out the other side. I’d love to hear your experience, so please feel free to reach out and share.

Never underestimate the power of your past. Because it’s not in the past. It’s here in this living moment with you – woven into your responses, choices and perceptions; baked into your nervous system and psyche through and reinforcement and repetition.

That doesn’t mean your past has to define you, not at all.

Though, you’re lying to yourself if you say ‘its in the past’, yet have done no work to clear the ripples of that past from your system to create space for something new.

Yesterday, in a session with my coach, I went ‘back in time’ to the end of 2020, when I went through an experience that was somewhat challenging for me.

Here is a sublime example

Despite acknowledging the challenge at the time, I realised looking back that I hadn’t fully resolved or digested what happened there.

Part of me stayed frozen in that experience, and on the subtlest of levels, I have gotten in my own way unconsciously ever since.

That past experience was with me in every moment. It informed my capacity and energy levels, choices and perceptions.

And this is how the past shapes us – you have experiences that your system ‘learns’ from, and you then – often completely unconsciously – adjust accordingly to avoid repeating painful or difficult events.

We are such clever adaptive creatures.

But, those ‘adaptations’ will inadvertently shape your behaviour, attitudes, thoughts and feelings in a way that can begin to inhibit your ability to fully show up for your business or career, relationships, and life in general.

If you bring the process of ‘learning’ from these past experiences into consciousness, you gift yourself the chance to mine the gold from the past, get the learnings and gifts link example: and then move forward with your life.

„ QUOTE DESIGN: I CALL THIS PROCESS ‘DIGESTING’ YOUR PAST EXPERIENCES, AND HAVE SPECIFIC PRACTICES I TEACH TO SUPPORT YOU TO DO THIS.“

I call this process ‘digesting’ your past experiences, and have specific practices I teach to support you to do this.

The challenges of the past – and your adaptations – can become like a cage you find yourself living in if you’re not aware, but this digestion process ensures your continued liberation…

Which past experiences do you need to free yourself from?

We are such clever adaptive creatures.

If you bring the process of ‘learning’ from these past experiences into consciousness, you gift yourself the chance to mine the gold from the past, get the learnings.