Like many of the driven women I work with and support, I used to pride myself on powering through (or at the very least, believe that I didn't have a choice).
Fatigue, stress, emotions, distraction...grit my teeth and forge ahead! As long as the things got done, I was getting it right… right??
Okay, it’s been a minute – I haven’t written an edition of Secrets of Success, Sex & Soul in a few months.
Once upon a time, I’d have felt pretty ashamed. Given myself a hard time for being lazy, or scattered, or lost in a vortex of unfinished projects that need my attention (though… I do have a few of those).
But recently I’ve been getting really intimate with my LIMITS. (This has been a huge theme with clients, too, though more on that in a moment.)
This year has asked me to tune in even more deeply with what I actually need – not what looks good on paper, or ticks the box, or what someone else needs from me. Not what keeps the algorithm happy, not what proves I’m ‘doing enough’.
This has been true across my relationships, business and health.
And what I’ve needed? Has been less output. More presence. Fewer posts. More real-life, real-body, real-human connection. Less doing, more being. Less holding and more being held.
Because honestly, I’ve been tired. Not just “need a nap” tired – hormonal, must-pay-attention-to-this tired. I was being called towards myself instead of towards the world and my needs were changing. My system tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Hey love, I need you to listen.”
So I did.
I listened because I’ve learned the cost of not listening.
Past Nic would have gritted her teeth and pushed through. Slapped on some hot music, ignored the inner heaviness, and just kept going.
Because willpower! And discipline! And integrity! And insert other “doing the things is more important than my needs..” buzzword here.
Except over time through burnout and lots of experiments, I’ve learned something important that shapes how I live and lead today;
Willpower is a ‘sometimes’ solution. Not a lifestyle choice.
It can get you through a sprint.
It cannot sustain your soul.
And this – this shift from override to honour – has also been the heartbeat of the work I’ve been doing with my clients lately.
These are strong, successful, smart-as-hell women. From the outside, their lives look damn near perfect. Impressive titles. Beautiful families. Businesses and careers built from determination and persistence over decades.
But inside? Many of them carry a quiet ache.
Not burned out.. yet.
But brittle.
Disconnected.
Exhausted from pretending everything feels as good as it looks.
Over the past few months, I’ve had a gorgeous influx of these women show up, ready to untangle themselves from perfection. From the pressure to perform “happy and competent” in hopes it’ll eventually feel true.
They’re done with that. Done using willpower to dominate their inner world.
Now, they’re learning to sit with the messiness. To feel the ache instead of fix it. To admit where they’re scared, uncertain, tender – and stay with it.
That changes everything.
It softens their grip.
It deepens their presence.
And slowly, gloriously, it brings them home to themselves.
This theme has echoed not just in client sessions, but in some of the awesome real-life spaces I’ve been lucky to step into lately and the conversations I’ve had there – like the Significant Advice Network conference in QLD, the Family Business Association annual gathering in Sydney, and my continued adventures with BNI.
In these rooms, I’ve met brilliant women holding massive responsibility – leading companies, steering legacies, navigating complex family dynamics. And beneath the polished exteriors, there’s often a hunger for something more.
What a joy it’s been to witness that hunger.
To feel it.
To be part of helping women say Yes to it!
And with all of this inner and outer richness, I’m also celebrating something practical and powerful: my freshly updated website is LIVE.
It’s a deeper reflection of who I am and how I work now.
So if you’ve been feeling the stir to stop pushing and start feeling again…
If you’re craving a life that feels as good as it looks…
If you’re starting to suspect that not doing it all might be the most successful move you can make – Come take a look! www.nicolestewart.coach
This season, I’m not here to hustle.
I’m here to live well.
Lead honestly.
And love without leaving myself behind.
