Widening the Aperture to find Sustainable Success

If you’ve been following along for a while, you’ll know that I like to bang on just a little about finding sustainable paths to business success for leaders… 😉

The ‘hard, fast, at the expense of everything else’ model doesn’t work – we’ve seen that unequivocally, however its still so easy for people hungrily pursuing things that are important to them to get tunnel visioned and lose sight of the whole picture of their lives in a ‘widened aperture’ sense.

We’ve been watching a lot of the Olympics over the last few weeks.

As a former professional equestrian athlete, high level equestrian sports have such a special place in my heart and watching the best in the sport gallop around at the Palace of Versailles was SO special.

Once upon a time, I dreamed of – and even believe that I would – go to an Olympics.

I competed up to two grades down from Olympic standard in three day eventing in my 20’s before going through major burn out at 28 and retiring from competitive sport.

So I know a few things about tunnel vision.

Tunnel vision was an absolute gift when it came to my sporting success. And an absolute curse when it came to my finances, personal relationships, mental health and business.

Those athletes we’ve all been enjoying watching at the games are obsessed with their sport. They live it and breathe it. They have to.

In fact, I believe that many people forging new frontiers live with a special level of obsession for whatever is their art. Elon Musk is a great example of this, regardless of whether you like the guy or agree with his ethos, you can’t deny he’s made some truly remarkable things happen in his life through his hunger and obsession.

When I burned out at 28, I’d been in the equestrian industry for 10 years, and I knew that if I wanted to go to an Olympics, I needed to be prepared to give the sport another 10 years, at least.

When I asked myself, do I want the next 10 years of my life to look the same as the last? The answer for me, was clear.

No.

It was no longer right for me to live with that level of tunnel vision…

On Tuesday night, we went to the book launch of Andy McCarthy’s memoir, Here Comes the Sun.

Andy founded a solar company, grew it to greatness in the heartland of Australian Coal, then sold it.

He believed in himself enough that he could see the thing through despite major industry pushback and a range of challenges along the way..

But when he spoke on Tuesday evening, he shared about what it cost him to fight so hard for this thing he loved and believed in.

Namely significant mental health challenges and time away from his family.

Andy’s message on Tuesday boiled down to inviting leaders to find a more sustainable path. To believe in yourself and create great things, but to find a healthier way of doing it!

I was so inspired by hearing such a successful man get honest about the raw path that went on behind the scenes, and to feel his commitment to making a difference in both the energy transition in Australia and the lives of other business leaders.

See, we’re not Olympic athletes.

But despite that, I see so many women (and leaders in general) believing that the only way to get the thing done is with 11 out of 10 intensity.

When I sit down with women and ask them what success looks like for them, they can usually tell me the answer in terms of their business, and usually for their finances and children if they have them, too.

I then ask them to zoom out and say, ‘And what about your mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing? And what about your marriage? And how about your health and hobbies?’

Usually, there’s an area or areas being neglected to create business and financial outcomes.

And when we start talking about what success looks like when it incorporates those other important areas, success starts to shift.

It becomes about how it feels to work hard for something you believe in, but then stop and rest. It becomes about creating amazing things, but maybe a little slower, so you can enjoy the moments of living and loving along the way.

Success, for me at least, absolutely has to include the whole spectrum of life, or it feels incomplete.

Short term sacrifice for something you love can be okay when its done with choice and awareness, but too many business leaders are suffering because they’ve chosen indefinite sacrifice and are undervaluing the quality of their lives in pursuit of measurable success.

What does success look like for you when you widen the aperture so you can see all the bits of your world?

Never underestimate the power of your past. Because it’s not in the past. It’s here in this living moment with you – woven into your responses, choices and perceptions; baked into your nervous system and psyche through and reinforcement and repetition.

That doesn’t mean your past has to define you, not at all.

Though, you’re lying to yourself if you say ‘its in the past’, yet have done no work to clear the ripples of that past from your system to create space for something new.

Yesterday, in a session with my coach, I went ‘back in time’ to the end of 2020, when I went through an experience that was somewhat challenging for me.

Here is a sublime example

Despite acknowledging the challenge at the time, I realised looking back that I hadn’t fully resolved or digested what happened there.

Part of me stayed frozen in that experience, and on the subtlest of levels, I have gotten in my own way unconsciously ever since.

That past experience was with me in every moment. It informed my capacity and energy levels, choices and perceptions.

And this is how the past shapes us – you have experiences that your system ‘learns’ from, and you then – often completely unconsciously – adjust accordingly to avoid repeating painful or difficult events.

We are such clever adaptive creatures.

But, those ‘adaptations’ will inadvertently shape your behaviour, attitudes, thoughts and feelings in a way that can begin to inhibit your ability to fully show up for your business or career, relationships, and life in general.

If you bring the process of ‘learning’ from these past experiences into consciousness, you gift yourself the chance to mine the gold from the past, get the learnings and gifts link example: and then move forward with your life.

„ QUOTE DESIGN: I CALL THIS PROCESS ‘DIGESTING’ YOUR PAST EXPERIENCES, AND HAVE SPECIFIC PRACTICES I TEACH TO SUPPORT YOU TO DO THIS.“

I call this process ‘digesting’ your past experiences, and have specific practices I teach to support you to do this.

The challenges of the past – and your adaptations – can become like a cage you find yourself living in if you’re not aware, but this digestion process ensures your continued liberation…

Which past experiences do you need to free yourself from?

We are such clever adaptive creatures.

If you bring the process of ‘learning’ from these past experiences into consciousness, you gift yourself the chance to mine the gold from the past, get the learnings.